It's not fair (Warning: Read only if you have time to spare)

A statement was remarked: It's not fair!!

So why is it not fair? It's not fair because you think it is. But actually, life is not fair. It's true, isn't it? Why do some people get what they want while others don't? Let me give a real life example. I have got a friend whose family is rich and he has got a car, handsome, smart and gets what he wants. Mind you, he's 21 this year. There are girls swooning over him, not just because he's generous, gentlemanly, but he's witty and humorous as well. Hey what a catch right?

Just this morning when I was at the boy's brigade parade, a bag was presented to a particular boy who had performed outstandingly. It was a nice bag with nice straps suitable for a primary school student. He was the only one who got the bag, and from somewhere within the platoon came this comment: It's not fair!

Do we always look at things from this perspective? If someone gets something you don't, it's not fair? So in the same light, if I give you something, say a car worth 100k. Now a car worth that much is definitely something won't you say. You must probably be someone special or I expect something back from you. That aside, now let's say I'm feeling particularly rich and I give a car of exactly the same make and model and price to another 9 people. Would you say I'm being fair to all 10 of them? The most obvious answer is yes I would think.

Given another scenario, your teacher treats this particular classmate of yours specially nicely. He makes special mention of this classmate, praising him for every thing he does. Now, when it comes to you, he likes to "arrow" you to present your solutions to the whole class during tutorials, asking you questions in front of the class. To top it off, he demoralises you by brushing your questions away. Quite an adverse situation isn't it? I hope this doesn't happen to anyone, but is it fair for this teacher to do so?

I have heard many stories on fairness. A group of 20 boys of slightly different ages were called together. They were all given a shirt each of exactly the same size and same make of the same price. When they tried it on, some of them couldn't fit in, some were literally swimming in the shirts, some didn't like the design, some didn't try it on just because they felt they couldn't accept such an expensive gift. Finally, only one boy had it all right. The shirt fit him well, he liked the design, and he didn't feel shy about accepting things from others.

The point I'm trying to make here is that not everything suits to everyone. All of us are created differently and uniquely (proven by DNA) by God. All of us have different needs and different tastes. What may seem pungent to some may be sweet-smelling to others. What may seem ugly to some may seem beautiful to others. For the example on the cars earlier on, not all may know how to drive. Not all may appreciate a 100k car. Not all may like the look of the car. So is it still fair for me to give all of them the car? For the boy whose shirt is all in the right dimensions for him, was it fair for me to give all the rest the same shirt but couldn't fit them?

In the same light, for the teacher who treated his students differently, was it fair for him to treat them differently? Now we may not know the exact reasons for his preferential treatment, but different people have different needs and requirements and of course, treated differently. Back to the boy who shouted: It's not fair! Was it really not fair for this guy to receive a nice bag and all?


Another story I've heard on fairness is this. This person seemed to have it all. Successful career, big house, married with 3 kids, health in excellent condition, witty and humorous, drop dead gorgeous looks and has good standings in the political scene. But have you ever wondered how this person made it? He may have gone thru a most trying period of his time, losing a loved one, bankrupt, dejected, demoralised, stepped on and failing in everything that he's worked for. To make matters worse, his family is in turmoil and his parents on the verge of splitting, his brothers and sisters don't care and are still schooling. I don't think anyone of us would want to be in his shoes. Or would anyone be willing to go thru such a period of adversity in his life? Now remember that while going through such a situation, with almost all hope gone, you would never have thought of picking up or making it big another time would you? A person seemingly successful in everything, we admire them, sometimes we envy them, but we don't look at what the person has actually gone through to be like this. Success is often accompanied with some kind of failure, which may not be obvious or tangible. The story of Joseph illustrates this. Betrayed by his very own brothers, he was sold to Eygpt and put in prison for 2 years. In a big turn of events, he soon rose to be 2nd to the king and a very successful dude for a non-Eygptian.

Most of the time, we look at a person's exterior, but seldom do we look at a person's interior. Take another of the most famous stories in the bible, our good friend King David. How did God select him to be king? No it wasn't through his washboard abs or his strikingly good looks. Nor was David successful so to speak, only a shepherd tending to his flock. Was it fair for God to choose him although he didn't seem strong or tall? (I think a king is expected to be something like that) Nope, Jesse (David's father) didn't think so. In fact he brought out his other sons before Samuel to choose and only brought out David when Samuel asked if that's all the sons he had.

(A side note: To follow David's life is exciting. His story started when he was chosen to be king, followed by a big roller coaster ride with Jonathan and the reigning king Saul whom David replaced. And who can forget Mr. Goliath? David won many wars against the Philistines with God's power. He had a son Solomon, the wisest person on earth. Oh the wisest animal on earth is not an owl for your info.. haha.. David succumbed to temptation with Bathsheba and God brought turmoil upon his household. He was succeeded by Solomon and died a king of 40 years. Read 1 and 2 Samuel for more info.)

I travel often to the mountains of Chiang Mai for community service. There we share our stuff with the villagers and their kids. We bring clothing, tidbits, and usually construct something. Most recently we went to construct check dams. Rather long to explain here, but basically it increases the water catchment area of the forest. Some of the kids are malnourished, many are destined to be a farmer someday in his life, all live in houses made of wood/straw which may leak anytime, some may not even know what a balloon is. Is it fair for them to be born in such an environment while we who are born in Singapore get a nice house, have education and live a life of security? No? Think again.. they are happy there and live a carefree life. They do not have to worry about security and locks are hardly needed. They enjoy the simple pleasures of life and are contented with what they have. We on the other hand, are always competitive and are stressed to the limit. We are wary of the guy beside us who may turn against us or harm us. Someone once said that the most dangerous creature is humans, you don't know what's on their mind when they smile at you.

I have always believed that God is fair. As children of God, he wants the best for us. You may not want to be in certain situations but God has intentionally put you there. For many reasons of course. If you're put in an adverse situation, to succumb to it will be human, to survive it would be outstanding, to give thanks would be divine. How many of us can actually thank God for the many difficult times we are in? They are there for us to emerge as stronger beings, and to increase our faith in our ever loving God. He looks at everything we're doing and we've done. Don't for a second think He's not watching over you. Whatever happens He knows, and He cares for you. At the end of the day, He will balance it out for you.